June 9th-June 10th always hold a sad place in my heart. These were the dates I lost a daughter at 24 weeks to Turner's Syndrome and associated heart defects. It totally devastated me. She would have been three this year. I know she is in a better place though and is free from the lifelong hurt this syndrome and the heart defects would have caused. I spent these two days in solitude and just kept myself busy with other tasks. I listened to a lot of music during this time. Also, I did a lot of thinking, took minimal phone calls, stayed off social media, away from tv, etc. I mainly wanted to be left alone. I don't think the pain will ever be gone from this loss. I just have learned how I personally need to heal and handle these days in a positive manner. Her name is Allyannah Alexsys and I love her forever and always.
In addition to these days already being a little more sad and stressful, all of our household items from NJ were delivered to a house I leased in AZ from the hospital bed (sight unseen). Also, a house I had previously purchased at eighteen in another state was fixed up and put on the market to sell since the renter's moved out. Furthermore, the effects of the magnesium sulfate were starting to get worse. Suddenly, I was gaining at least 10 lbs of water weight a day! This was terrible timing since 2 out of my 3 doctors were out of town! I had met their "replacements" before they left just in case but it was still scary.
After four days, I could barely move or breath! I had gained forty pounds of water weight (in four days) and it was starting to leak into my lungs causing pulmonary edema. They could not just take me off the magnesium since the babies would have pushed through the cerclage causing major damage to myself and them! The contractions were also coming more frequently and we were out off options... the doctors decided it was time to deliver.
They decided on June 12th the c-section would be the next day at 8 am. This gave ample time for the prep work to be done on me and the room appropriately staffed! I was relieved for the extreme swelling pain to be gone, to be able to breath, and to meet the babies. However, I felt like I failed! My eyes were on the prize to make it another 3 weeks for them... I had beat the average of 27 weeks for quintuplets by a month, did everything they told me, had daily injections, fought to get to AZ, etc. but it did not feel like enough!
My favorite past time was my once a day hydrotherapy bath! It relieved so much pressure and made me feel weightless even though I weighed so much. After my hydrotherapy bath on the 12th, the prep work fun began! I stood in the tub as the CNA helped bathe me in a solution that killed any bacteria etc on my body. Afterwards, I put on a gown, had bloodwork done, a second IV inserted, prophylactic IV antibiotics given, and was shaved by the CNA! Luckily, the CNA and I had 70 days to become acquainted before this! We were joking throughout and I'm sure it's something neither of us will forget. Honestly, by this point with so much fluid and breathing issues anybody could have done anything with me I was so miserable it did not even matter. I then rested the best I could until 5 am on the 13th...I was hoping my fight was a enough for healthy babies.
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